Pleasure & Pain
I have to constantly stop myself from crying at the moment and most of the time I don’t know if my tears are from happiness or sadness.
My soul is trying so hard to heal, it feels like skin stretching across an open wound.
The hurt underneath is not ready to heal. It still needs to endure more pain, and it knows all of that healing will be ripped apart before all this is over.
The sensation is simultaneously immensely relieving and excruciating agony. I am where I want to be, need to be, and yet things are not right. Things are missing. Things are unresolved. The future is unsure.
I am home, yet I have no home to go to. I am so very, very tired of waiting for my life to begin.