Hell is not knowing when or if I will ever see my baby again.
Hell is waking up in the morning and not being able to call her in for a morning cuddle.
Hell is not being able to call her on the phone and listen to her read me a book.
Hell is not knowing when or if I will ever feel her warm little body snuggled up to mine.
Hell is looking at photos of her and missing her with an ache beyond words.
Hell is not knowing what she is being told about me.
Hell is every worst case scenario running through my head, and knowing that the worst case scenario is probably something I haven’t even thought of.
Hell is the waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.
Hell is not knowing if I will ever hear her beautiful laugh again.
Hell is sleeping with her Lion because she was taken so suddenly, he got left behind, and he and I need each other right now, even if I am a grown woman carrying a raggedy stuffed lion everywhere. He is her’s, and he is all I have.
Hell is my life. I am in hell. I am in a fight for my life, for my baby, for my sunshine, and I am going to give it everything I have. I don’t know if it will be enough.
I hope there is a special level of hell reserved for men that take children from their mothers, and another for the men that make the laws that make it legal.